The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: Never Picked First for Playtime by Dustin Brookshire

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content warning for homophobia

Homophobic Barbie

She didn’t picket when marriage equality passed,
only asked, How do you know who the bride is?
When SCOTUS ruled on workplace discrimination,
she was silent on Facebook, but asked Ken,
Do people really get fired for being gay?
Homophobic Barbie will tell you
she’s had an owner or two turn gay.
(Technically, it was her owner’s brothers.)
She knew one was gay when he made Q-tips
into hair rollers. The other
instigated arguments between her and Ken.
Ken had never questioned why he wasn’t allowed
to drive the Barbie Convertible across the living room.
Homophobic Barbie loves the sinner, hates the sin.
She isn’t sure two dads or two moms
create the best environment for a child
but shows up for the wedding.
She isn’t missing an open bar
or chance to do the Electric Slide
in pink heels with her sister Skipper.
After her third glass of champagne,
Homophobic Barbie explains to Skipper,
Remember, in the beginning,
Mattel created Barbie and Ken, not Ben and Ken.