The Wardrobe's Best Dressed: How Her Spirit Got Out by Krysten Hill

Photo Credit: Jon Beckley

How to Tame a Wild Woman

Top answers:

Kill her with kindness. Establish boundaries, a reward
system. Give her direction. Show her how much you have
to talk about. Gift her with what she wants more
than usual. Wear nice suits. Leave your wallet open
to show her how good you are with money. Don’t look
directly at her. Pretend there is something more
interesting behind her. Ask Joe Francis. Ask her father.
Ask whoever had her first. Offer marriage. Divorce. Sex.
Tell her to shut up, to read the bible. Don’t let her read.
REMIND HER THAT MEN CREATED THE GOVERNMENT
AND THE INTERNET AND CARS AND AMERICA. Guide her
away from large machinery. Remind her there’s no such thing
as artificial sperm, that without you there’s no other way
to create life. Remind her that she has a clock inside her
that is ticking, that it’s biology, that her blood is too hot
but it will cool. Reassure her that she can be fixed, but
if she acts like a wild animal you will treat her like one.
Inspire feelings of loss inside her. Let her run until she gets
tired. Remember, women use tears to shape men’s behavior.
Show her your big hands. Harness her kinkiness and focus it
on you. Straighten her out. Is she straight? Maybe try force.

This selection comes from the collection How Her Spirit Got Out, available from Aforementioned Productions. Order your copy here. Our curator for December is Krista Cox.

Krysten Hill is an educator, writer, and performer who has showcased her poetry on stage at the Boston Book Festival, Merrimack College, The Massachusetts Poetry Festival, and many others. She received her MFA in poetry from UMass Boston where she currently teaches. Her work can be found or is forthcoming in apt, The Baltimore Review, B O D Y, Word Riot, Muzzle, PANK, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, Winter Tangerine Review and elsewhere. She is the recipient of the 2016 St. Botolph Club Foundation Emerging Artist Award. Her chapbook, How Her Spirit Got Out, received the 2017 Jean Pedrick Chapbook Prize.

Krista Cox is a paralegal and poet living in northern Indiana. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Pittsburgh Poetry Review, The Indianola Review, Whale Road Review, and Pirene’s Fountain, among other places in print and online. She twice received the Lester M. Wolfson Student Award in Poetry, and has been nominated for Best of the Net and the Pushcart Prize. In her abundant spare time, Krista parents, paints, and plans community events as the Program Director of Lit Literary Collective. Learn more than you ever wanted to know about her at kristacox.me.