This feature, chosen by Guest Editor EMDASH, is from I Can Tell You The Version That Will Make You Take My Side by J Brooke (Driftwood Press 2026).
CANCER SCARE
That’s how I know for sure I don’t
want top surgery I of course want
the outcome come out flat smooth
skin I want the reflection I always
squinted into mirrors hoping to see
myself reflected outside a loose tee
shirt beneath button downs ajar like
curtains loose layers layered looser
I pull again and again yanking poor
innocent fibers imploring they offer
impossible space for me to hide I’d
toss them all begin a fresh downsize
to medium or small jettison my soupy
slouchy swimmy threads dump donate
or burn the motherfuckers I desire that
outcome if only I can just blink it onto
me, awake to hands exploring my torso
my flat smooth chest no longer breasts
inhaling exhaling proudly satisfied and
yet I don’t get it that surgery I do not
choose surgery I do not elect it fearing
instead the scalpels needles anesthesia
I wonder was it the tonsillectomy I did
not need, elective surgery I didn’t elect
at 4 when I didn’t get a vote or was it
that rhinoplasty at 17 against my will
still no vote no voice my body bones
and skin I had in the game no control
like my uncle Stanley punctured at 42
by drains tubes liquid in and liquid out
emaciated once handsome stud I loved
visiting him that last hospital time that
could have done it But the lump under
my arm in my armpit (even my lymph
nodes avoid my breasts) so scary one
doctor calls another for a favor to see
me See them today it’s important
please and I go and they poke
and avert their eyes frown prod
order the MRI ASAP as I dress
recalling all those times I begged
god please don’t give me cancer
don’t make it cancer anything
but cancer but if I must cancer
god, please breast cancer then
radical bilateral removal not
elective but medically mandated
dissolution solution my problem
But I skirt death again the tests show
the lump is just some something acting
up inside me, a minor revolt I need no
surgery so I won’t get surgery and I live
on in the body I was mistakenly wrapped
inside Unwanted gift to myself I remain
National Bestselling author J Brooke’s (they/them) debut poetry book, I Can Tell You The Version That Will Make You Take My Side, received a starred Kirkus review, is a USA Today Bestseller, is included in Ms. Magazine’s Best Poetry Books of 2026, won Driftwood Press’s Editor Choice Award, and was Ashland Press’s 2025 Richard Snyder Prize Finalist. Brooke’s other honors include Pushcart & Best of the Net nominations, The Iowa Review’s 2025 Nonfiction Prize Finalist, Columbia Journal’s 2020 Nonfiction Prize Winner. Their work appears in Electric Lit, McSweeney’s, The Rumpus, Harvard Review, and elsewhere. They are Poetry Editor at Trans Poetics Archive and the Book Reviews Editor at The Rumpus. They can be found at JBrookewrites.com.
EMDASH a.k.a Emily Lu Gao (高璐璐) (she/they) is a poet-who-also-writes-fiction, educator, and daughter of Chinese immigrants. She writes to heal, grow, and decolonize. They’ve received support from LAMBDA, McCormack Writing Center, Sundress Publications, Bread Loaf Environmental Writers Conference, The Chinese American Museum of LA, Jersey City Arts Council and more. She has learned as much from community organizing and open mics as she did from her Rutgers-Newark MFA in Poetry. They’re published in Poetry Northwest, ANMLY, Alocasia, Underblong and elsewhere. She proudly hosted, produced, and curated The Word Bookstore Open Mic for two years.
- The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: I Can Tell You The Version That Will Make You Take My Side by J Brooke - September 2, 2026
- The Wardrobe’s Best Dressed: I Can Tell You The Version That Will Make You Take My Side by J Brooke - September 1, 2026
- Sundress Reads: Review of Her Mouth a Palace of Lamps - August 31, 2026